Saturday, 20 August 2016

Summertime Sadness

Here again...

Being Negative?
Sad and struggling?

I don't want to write those things. I'm fed up of myself and my bleak thoughts manifesting in writing.
I want to be light and positive and thrilled to be here. I'm aware of how wonderful life is and how lucky I am to have a chance to live it, especially being so blessed. I am thankful for that... really I am!

So i just want you to know although I feel weak in this life I also see the beauty it offers. I see it, I do. One day I will make myself better.

Sunday, 26 June 2016

My thoughts on: Quiet by Susan Cain

I have recently finished reading the book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking and throughout I have found myself reflecting on the words along the way. So, here I am, an introvert as I now will proudly call myself, reflecting on and giving thanks to this book.

Along the way I have found myself nodding along, taking notes and replying aloud usually something like "That's me!". This book has not not only helped me understand myself better but it has also empowered me to feel good about myself. I would describe myself as quiet, sensitive and sometimes shy and before reading this book I would have most certainly have felt that these attributes were 'weaknesses'. The society I live in praises and commends extroverts while pushing introverts to become more extroverted. I've always felt like a minority and often find it hard to find someone like me, someone I realise who is more introverted and sensitive than others. Believing that there is something wrong with me, or that I am not as good as my extrovert society believes me to be, is where a lot of my anxiety comes from. My anxiety is strong when I think I am weak. This book, however, has made me think of myself differently and to see what I thought were 'weaknesses' as amazing qualities to feel proud of.

I am quiet. I am highly sensitive. I do love music, nature and art. I do feel strong emotions and I do avoid the news and violent movies because I am highly empathetic. This is me...but is there something wrong with being this way? No.

Also, I am sad about the decision a majority in my country voted for this week. I do not like to discuss politics and I'm not going to but what I would like to say is... I, personally, will continue to love and support the EU. 

Sunday, 15 May 2016

Happy bursts

Living with anxiety is just that: life with anxiety in it. It becomes a part of you and sometimes we forget about the other parts of life that is not anxiety. I'm probably not making sense to most who read this but anyway, the point I'm trying to make is anxiety can consume you sometimes and other times you can have the chance to observe other things like... happiness.

Here are my observations of happiness:

  • The sun - it is lovely to see you again :)
  • The sky- day and night you are beautiful
  • Beautiful green nature 
  • Family 
  • Spontaneous trips with family 
  • Feeling comfortable with others 
  • Yummy dessert and drinks 
  • Appreciating art, architecture, history and culture
  • Celebrating
  • New music
  • Old music
  • Europe and the Eurovision (Yes, I am a fan)
  • Reading and learning and being inspired
  • Sleep
  • Not thinking ahead so much but living in the moment 
  • Reflecting on good times
  • Surprise box in the mail with lovely treats 
  • Taking pictures

In what form has happiness visited you lately?

Wednesday, 6 April 2016

The blues

2016 hasn't been the best. I know, it's still April but I'm feeling meh about the year already. Work has been extra hard, my Gran died and I'm just feeling scared of the future.  I'm writing this in my Easter holidays and although I should be happy to have 2 weeks off I feel like I've had no break at all. No break from worry and sadness :( I don't know if whether, I'm a terrible, ungrateful person or this is depression talking. Either way I need to make more of an effort. I need to make an effort to see the good, to go with the flow and to try to push the worry away.

Here is a reminder to myself:
I am not as bad as I think or say I am. I need to be more positive about myself and my life. Remember:

Sunday, 7 February 2016

Quote of the Week!

January for me has been: struggling to readjust, eating very unhealthy and just getting through. Already there has been 6 days of February and it already feels like more of the same. I'm not very motivated and I'm still dealing with low moods and anxiety but I feel like there are lots of us feeling the same.

Have patience. Don't give yourself a hard time for having bad days, weeks or months. Allow yourself to feel and believe in better days.

Katie Daisy

This is a lovely print I came across on Pinterest. I do love discovering beautiful, inspiring art. Have you come across any inspiring pieces? Care to share?

Thursday, 31 December 2015


Remember my anxieties for 2015...( hello January )
Well it turned out pretty good!

I feel so thankful that I made it through things that I was completely scared about and felt incapable to do. I'm thankful that other people see something in me, that sometimes, I don't see myself and I'm thankful that the universe takes me places that I wouldn't normally volunteer to go. Of course anxiety has accompanied me through every step of 2015 but I still did things that quite frankly I'm proud of.

So here's my little recap of 2015:


-I started working full time (1/2 student, 1/2 real work)
-A friend's engagement party 
-Coffee with friends 
-Lunches in town with mam


-Had a nice meal at Prezzo with friends on Valentine's day
-Made some Nutella and strawberry filled pancakes 
-Coffee with colleagues
-Eastenders LIVE


-Celebrated a friend's birthday with an indian 
-Got offered a job :)
-A cold and windy walk on the beach 
-Bought myself a new laptop


-Easter dinner and games 
-Sunny day in Cardiff
-We had baby chicks in work 
-Ben Howard in concert


-Gerard's last game for Liverpool
-Eurovision, nibbles and Desperado (Sweden won!)
-Went to see Pitch Perfect 2 in cinema


-Bought James Bay's Chaos and the Calm
-Started watching the series Humans
- A walk around Craig-y-nos


-Celebrated my birthday with a day trip to Gloucester
-Red arrows
-Fruit coolers in Costa


-Beach walk
-Went to see Jurassic World in the cinema
-Day out with friends in Tenby


-Family wedding 
- Unemployment and feelings of guilt
-Went to see Dreamboats and Miniskirts
-Lunar eclipse


- Went to see Blood Brothers 
- Back in work  
-Went to a friend's Hen do


-  A friend's wedding
- Afternoon tea with friends
- Food in Mamma Mia's


-Christmas do
-Scary interview but I got the job!
-Bought myself an iphone6 
- Night out with friends
- A lovely Christmas with family  

Sunday, 13 December 2015

Have yourself a merry little Christmas...

It's been a while!

Since last time, I was offered a temporary job-accepted it- felt incredibly anxious and realised maybe this job wasn't for me- plucked up the courage to phone back two days later and turn down the job- was told that they wanted me for the job and wasn't going to take no for an answer- accepted the job again- started the job- realised I was actually okay at this job- applied for a permanent job in the same workplace- had a scary interview- and got the job!! PHEW.

I should be happy, yes? I should take it as a sign that I am doing a good job and that I am wanted, yes?

I'm still anxious. I'm still scared. I still feel that I'm going to do something terribly wrong and that I'm not going to be good enough. This sucks.

BUT on the more positive side...Christmas holidays are coming soon and I can spend time with loved ones.  I can listen to my new Nashville Christmas CD I bought today- woop!

Here are some lovely pictures taken from pinterest to cheer us all up:

How special and cosy is that last picture? Such a dream!